Ah February – a month so short and meaningless I barely even noticed it slip by.
The icy depths of January carried on pretty much unabated throughout the second month of the year.
As did my scratchingly slow progress, which is probably most obvious from the tardy nature of this blog. It’s nearly April.
February was a particularly hard month. I’d pretty much just broken up with the girl I mentioned right before I wrote the last blog post. She wasn’t particularly impressed with my mere nod but I wasn’t ready to talk about it then. Still not really ready now. I was going to make this one all about her but I’m writing this instead.
February was bland. Although I managed to keep up my morning routine for the most part, that’s about where it ended. Just so you know, the routine is thus;
- Wake up
- Wash face
- Drink 20oz water + lemon & salt
- Make bed
- Stretch/Yoga with Adriene for ~10 mins
- Watch Brian Johnson’s Optimize +1 for the day
I’ve also attempted afternoon and evening routine but they are inconsequential at the moment. The morning is the key. I had some dreams of getting back to the point where I was late last summer, when getting up early to go to the gym was just something I did.
The depths of winter are the hardest time of the year, for so many reasons.
I look back over the last decade or so and I notice that January-March tend to be a pretty dark time for me; a time of mistakes, fear, depression, motiveless, existence.
It’s this time of year that I tend to slip up, make mistakes, give up, go back to my ex for comfort, go comfort drinking and eating.
Or lie in bed for an hour or two in the morning, staring at the ceiling and wondering what’s why I don’t want to get up, get out and do something. Wondering what’s the point. Wondering why I’m alive.
From the tail-end of March, really I should be relieved to have got through the worst of it without injuring myself or going so far off track. Nearly, but not quite.
This time last year, I had already made The Mistake, and was blissfully unaware of the consequences that were about to crash down around me.
This time last year, I met her at a friends birthday dinner. I knew from the moment she sat down next time me that I wanted to get to know her; to know her dreams; to be around her so that some of her magic might rub off; to hold her; to kiss her intimately. All the would come, of course. I’m so glad that I did. More on her later.
Here’s a teaser – March was even worse. I’ve been having a great birthday month full of fun but ultimately goals are slipping. Same as usual then.
See you in less than last time.