My mum has a trick for instant calm, passed down from her mother and her mother before that.
It works better outside or in a barn, but there’s plenty of ways to replicate it in modern life:
When you’re angry, dunk your head in a bucket of ice-cold water.
If no buckets are available, a tap or hose to the back of the neck works just fine. It’s possible to be disgruntled after a cold shower, but almost impossible to be angry.
For added effect, dip your toes in too. They can be hot, angry little fellas, but they do love a cold swim.
In a couple of hours a nice young doctor is going blind me.
She’ll be very polite about it but there will be a good few minutes — as she scrapes the skin off my eyeball — when my future is entirely in her hands.
Then she’ll zap my eyes with a laser and I’ll be blind for a bit.
Hopefully until Monday. Maybe forever.
That extreme uncertainty, the polarity of futures I’ll face in those short minutes has been straining my ‘third-eye.’ Like a vice locked over my temples, squishing the blood out of my prefrontal cortex.
There’s no way out but to surrender to the unknown and get ready to spend some serious ‘me’ time.
No screens. Nothing to read.
No way to write.
Just me, my thoughts, and a goodie bag of CBD-laced chocolate and Percocet.
I’ve queued up some of the blogs I’ve written over the last three months that I was too shy to publish earlier.
Thank you for reading my little infinity project.
And if my lucky string continues, I’ll see you on the other side.